3 Years

August 21, 2019

Dear Jon,

I don't really believe in an afterlife, but sometimes I still wonder about one. Can you see us? Are you watching us? Have you seen the amazing ways our boys have grown over the last 3 years? Oh, these boys! I'm glad every day I get to be their mom. Thank you for helping me create them.

Sean continues to be compliant and helpful. He still loves learning and sharing what he knows with anyone who will listen. He is interested in aviation and will take a class at school this year to learn more. This summer, he got to help sail your parents' boat. You know how they are- they were super impressed and read into the future and declared that Sean is a sailor and will inherit the boat. Sean has given me the "Jon eyebrows" a couple of times. You know when you would raise one of them and look at me skeptically? It's pretty hilarious. He's also turning into a teenager! The boy is starting to stink! He gives me grief about wearing deodorant. I totally get it. I cried when my mom told me I had to start wearing it. He also is way more emotional than I expected a boy to be. I shouldn't be surprised though. He has always been a deep thinker and feeler. He is truly a delightful child and I wish you were here to see him. 

Matthew is getting better all the time. He is always so full of energy and he loves riding his bike all over the neighborhood. He is also becoming more helpful. We took a 3-week screen-fast and he just stopped arguing with me about housework. It was kind of amazing. He still has the biggest heart, especially for animals. We spent several days at Molly and Amir's house and he loved on their dogs, and chickens, and ducks, and goats so much. He cried when it was time to leave because he was going to miss the ducks so much. I let him hold a duck feather on the plane trip home. He's going to be part of the stage and sound crew at school this year. He applied for the position and was so excited to be accepted. I'm looking forward to watching him learn new skills and thrive at school. He is such a joy to be around and I wish you were here to see him.

Nicki and I were talking earlier this summer and she said watching to boys grow has been a second chance to watch you grow up. Sean looks and thinks like you a lot of the time, and Matthew has your big, loving heart. 

I wish you were here: To help me on hard days with our kids. To teach them things a father should. To beam with pride at the people they are becoming. I know how much you loved them. If there is something after this life, I hope you keep watching. And I hope you are proud of all of us. 

June

June brought a lovely rainbow of flowers to my garden!

We got to play at Island Lake. Because we went during school hours, it was basically all ours! Matthew collected lots of flowers for me. He's such a sweetie! And we saw a turtle sunning itself on a log. That was a first at this park. 

Sean had a little dragonfly riding on his arm for a while.

These two enjoying a little rest. 

I helped out at Matthew's Field Day. I was really glad he got to participate in music and PE at the school for the last couple months. It has helped him be more comfortable with going to school full time next year. 

That hair!!

I was in a grumpy mood the night before Father's Day. I had been wanting to do a hike, and then that night I decided I didn't want to deal with whiny kids, so we were going to the beach instead! I invited the Cameron's to join us at Point No Point and it was a beautiful day. I wanted to test out the kayaks up there. I wasn't sure how getting them into the water would work out and I wanted to see how strong the current is. Well, there isn't a boat launch, so we had to carry them a bit of a ways, but nothing the boys and I couldn't handle. The current is for sure stronger, but we stayed close to the shore and it worked out pretty well. The waves are a lot stronger, so when we would pull up to the beach, we got knocked around a good amount. Matthew decided he didn't like kayaking here and spent the rest of the time on land. I went out a couple more times and it was a serious workout. A lot of fun, but it was hard work. 

There were a LOT of porpoises jumping around. It's always fun to see them. We also saw a couple of seals and eagles. 

It's so exhausting to play on the beach! The lighthouse was open, so we got to look around a little bit. I don't remember being able to do that before, so that was a fun treat. 

Just a beautiful sunset from my window

We took a trip to Neskowin to enjoy family time at our beach house. My brother came up with his kids, a couple cousins came with their families, and Matt joined us too. It was such a fun few days. 

The kids climbed Proposal Rock. I opted out of going up this time. Various combinations of kids went a few more times during our stay. I think this first time, they may have been barefoot. Goodness!

One of the days we travelled to Pacific City because the boys wanted to show their cousins a giant hill there. They also wanted to try sledding down the hill on cardboard. The sledding was a fail, but we still had a good time. However, we all agreed that it was too crowded and we returned to Neskowin.

Matthew and Reina played on boogie boards for a super long time. They had such huge smiles. I loved it! We also had a couple of kites that were played with by many of us for many hours. 

Rex and I had some great talks on the beach. I sure do love him.

Our crew, expect for Matt (he had left that morning) and a couple kids who are blocked by Rex's fluffy hair! 

And that's a wrap on June!